horoscope=liz lemon

so yesterday i'm getting ready to embark on my first crossword puzzle of the day (thursday is awesome like that), but as usual i decided to prepare myself by reading my horoscope first. i don't know how you feel about horoscopes, but i find them to be mostly awesome. hey, its not my fault i have rage problems; i'm a scorpio! and yes sometimes they can be accurate in that very broad way. yesterday was one of those sometimes. behold:


your mind may be on food all day. you want to sample several cuisines. this may make dinner preparations complex. you could always eat out.


how did they  know?! i WAS thinking about food all day (although, to be honest, that is the case pretty much everyday, because i love food/am disgusting), carefully weighing my options. should i go to store before i head home? would it be too late? sweat pants or food? difficult questions, especially since all i ate on my break was a sandwich, and not like a giant mediterranean sub. oh, and a rice cake! times are good. anyway, then i remembered that the best food combination known to man was just waiting for me at home.  once again, behold and absorb the glory:

+=    

   i will eat the shit out of you.

moral of the story, horoscopes can sometimes be awesome, and this is probably my future. 

although, if i get a sandwich turtle out of the deal, it will all be worth it. seriously, would you rather be alone forever or have a sandwich turtle? in this scenario the sandwiches are self-replenishing. exactly, you'd take the turtle. and now i want a big ass ruben. 

what i think about between crossword puzzles

i think i may have a serious 30 rock addiction. like, real bad. it is officially the only thing i've really watched in 2 weeks. wow. this is especially upsetting because i haven't even made a DENT in my halloween movie watching, which is one of the most important tasks in october. terrible. 


anyway, can i talk to you about work? 
good.


while using my expensive-ass degree to make americano after americano yesterday, i started to get angry. here is the thing: an americano is basically the same as regular drip coffee. no, for all intents and purposes, they are the same, only one is easier for me to give to  you and makes me like you more. look, wikepdia even says so! i mean, minus the me liking you bit.


anyhoodle, who are these people that keep buying americanos, a word that is ceasing to make sense, so i may have to call it something else soon? well, they are usually guys, who either do not realize that regular coffee is the same thing, or they just want to seem cool and "worldly." or they are dicks. this guy i dated in college used to always order americanos. but then again he did study in italy for like, a whole term, so clearly he was both vastly superior and onto something. not to lump his drink fellows in with him, but i'm really going to.


and what about mochas? they are horrible creatures that somehow make your mouth seem fuzzy and waxy at the same time. while that is an admirable feat, is anyone really looking for that in a beverage? apparently so. listen, if you are in high school, fine, drink them. go right ahead. they're kind of like training wheels. but, once again, mostly men who are in their thirties order them. seriously, just man up or don't drink coffee. go find a soda or something.


ah, and cold coffee drinks are another animal altogether. if it is a hot-ass afternoon, by all means go get an iced coffee or an iced latte. refreshing and caffinated! what more could you want?! but drink it quickly because the sight of your watery latte from 3 hours ago makes me and others feel ill. winter is not the time for them, nor is the morning or evening. gross. also, blended drinks are for children. after, say, 20 (which is reaaaaally generous), you can't have them anymore. i don't care how much you cry and beg, i am banishing you to the land of pepsi in the morning. the good news is that you will run into a ton of college professors there. no one knows why.


what do i drink? lattes and regular coffee. nothing too exciting. just soy lattes (because i am old in my tummy), where the "milk" almost makes it feel like a snack and helps with the jitters i sometimes get from regular coffee. ah, and coffee. so tasty and warm and it makes you feel like you might just have superpowers. its awesome. i love it and i'm pretty sure it loves me.


ps. can we chat about milk for a mo'? last weekend everyone wanted whole milk, which we don't have and is also disgusting. iwho does that? people also have their drinks made with half and half! absolutely not. i mean, i can't even use skim without it making my stomach explode so that i look 3 months pregnant (you're welcome for that image.). jesus, i had someone ask "don't you have any regular milk?" SHE MEANT WHOLE MILK! why? it grosses me out so much. thoughts?


well, it is obviously time for my new boyfriend, 30 rock. 
whee!

so, it's been some time...and will continue to be some time.


first i did the improbable and got a job. i work at it and everything. then i went on vacation to boston and saw some historical shit. pictures eventually. and now some upsetting personal bullshit. so. right  now i'm spending quality time with terrible foods and the soothing balm that is liz lemon.


keep yourself amused with this website: http://edped.tumblr.com/
here are some of my favorites.





yup.