horoscope=liz lemon

so yesterday i'm getting ready to embark on my first crossword puzzle of the day (thursday is awesome like that), but as usual i decided to prepare myself by reading my horoscope first. i don't know how you feel about horoscopes, but i find them to be mostly awesome. hey, its not my fault i have rage problems; i'm a scorpio! and yes sometimes they can be accurate in that very broad way. yesterday was one of those sometimes. behold:


your mind may be on food all day. you want to sample several cuisines. this may make dinner preparations complex. you could always eat out.


how did they  know?! i WAS thinking about food all day (although, to be honest, that is the case pretty much everyday, because i love food/am disgusting), carefully weighing my options. should i go to store before i head home? would it be too late? sweat pants or food? difficult questions, especially since all i ate on my break was a sandwich, and not like a giant mediterranean sub. oh, and a rice cake! times are good. anyway, then i remembered that the best food combination known to man was just waiting for me at home.  once again, behold and absorb the glory:

+=    

   i will eat the shit out of you.

moral of the story, horoscopes can sometimes be awesome, and this is probably my future. 

although, if i get a sandwich turtle out of the deal, it will all be worth it. seriously, would you rather be alone forever or have a sandwich turtle? in this scenario the sandwiches are self-replenishing. exactly, you'd take the turtle. and now i want a big ass ruben.