my dvd collection is now epic

so, as i said, i got "are you afraid of the dark?" on dvd. if you haven't seen it, well, i don't know that we can be friends. i'm not kidding. actually, this may be the actual reason for my recent break-up. maybe people who love "are you afraid of the dark?" can't be with  people who do not appreciate the glory. 


i've been watching it pretty much non-stop lately, trying to absorb the awesome-ness. doing so has revealed an interesting trend. did you notice that kiki's stories all have black people? and not in a "haha, she's black and so are they!" but more like, "why don't the other members of the midnight society have stories with black people?" i don't know. canada is weird. rewatching the show also makes me glad that i didn't realize that it is canandian when i was a kid. i would have some truly bizarre notions about what goes on up there. like, even more that usual. did you know that all canadian high schools have hidden pools? and that all gingers in canada are terrible bullies?! that one hits too close to home. sigh, we are a misunderstood group. my roommate is actually canadian (as opposed to fake?), so i've been confronting her about these stereotypes. now, i know you want to know which episodes are my favorites, right? yay! so, top 5 scariest and top 5 most amazing? i'm so glad we are on the same page.


scary!
1-The Tale of the Lonely Ghost

ghost kids are scary as shit. things coming out of the mirror are scary as shit. crazy backwards writing on the wall is scary as shit. in addition, this episode features a raging bitch ginger with the most epic 90's bangs i've ever seen and cannot find a picture of.


2-The Tale of the Hungry Hounds

whatever, i'm afraid of dogs. they will eat your face off. or eat your fox. or cause a terrible horse accident. do. not. fuck. with. dogs.

3-The Tale of Dark Music

that should be all you need to know, really. just no. but there is another asshole ginger...who gets fed to this doll demon. ok, so it changes into a lot of things, but that doesn't make it not a demon that will give you whatever you want in exchange for the blood of your enemies. seriously.

4-The Tale of Apartment 214

i'm also afraid of old people. especially dead ones who yell at me. and then, the little girl and her mom just move into the haunted ass apartment with this lady. which is disturbing because of all the questions that brings up. like, can her mom see this lady? when the girl brings the lady flowers, do other people see the flowers floating in the air? how does that work?

5-The Tale of the Crimson Clown

i did contemplate using the "laughter in the dark" episode, but i find the crimson clown way more terrifying than zeebo. maybe its just me. but see, zeebo is a ghost clown, while the crimson clown is like a demon clown doll. you know what, either way that is some bad shit that i do not want. 

awesome!

1-The Tale of the Pinball Wizard

come on, he gets trapped in a mall AND in a pinball game! how is that not the best? yes, it absolutely is and i can only dream of those things happening to me at some point.

2-The Tale of the Frozen Ghost

yeah, i don't even care what this episode is about. when we were kids, my bfff and ijoked about this one all the time. "you're old? you're mold? what?" yeah, that isn't funny to other people, but whatevs.

3-The Tale of the Bookish Babysitter

i guess that is scary, but i apparently think that getting sucked inside things is really really awesome. books coming to life?! absolutely. want. not creepy ones, but, you know, nice ones. side note, did people get sucked inside books in the pagemaster? what happened in that movie?

4-The Tale of the Quiet Librarian

remember that episode of "buffy," called hush or some such? it is like that. and it has gingers and the most urban kid in canada. he has kriss kross hair.

5-The Tale of the Chameleons

shit yeah, sister sister.

now go forth and be jealous that you don't have this show and all of its fantastic 90's fashions waiting for you at home. bam.